"Paul Rudnick makes me lie hysterical on the floor, screeching with laughter and sobbing with fury that I can't write the way he does." -- E. Lockhart, author of We Were Liars and The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks Up until forty-eight hours ago, Caitlin had never: Tasted alcohol, kissed a boy, sang in public at the top of her lungs, kidnapped anyone or --- WHAT? STOLEN A CONVERTIBLE? Now she's in jail and has no idea what to tell: The police, her parents, the mayor, all of those camera crews and everyone on Twitter. She has just noticed that: Her nose is pierced and -- WAIT? IS THAT A TATTOO? She blames one person for the entire insane weekend: Her famous cousin. Who is also her former best friend. Who she has HATED for the past four years. Who she also might miss like crazy. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, HELLER HARRIGAN!!!!